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User talk:TheBigLugmos
Welcome Hi, welcome to Creepypasta Wiki! Thanks for your edit to the That is survival page. Please be sure to check out all the Site Rules, as it is important to follow them. Failure to abide by them may result in your account being blocked. Read some new pastas by checking out or browse by topic by checking out the Genre Listing. Please leave a message on my talk page if I can help with anything! EmpyrealInvective (talk) 20:20, July 11, 2015 (UTC) EmpyrealInvective (talk) 20:26, July 11, 2015 (UTC) Re: Story The story was deleted as it was not up to quality standards. Starting with the basics, the title was improperly capitalized. "This is survival" should be "This is Survival". Punctuation issues: Abbreviations need punctuation. "PM" Commas used incorrectly. Wording issues: it's=it is, its=possession. "it's children." Fragmented sentences: "Jolted awake, sheets covered in sweat, gasping for air.", "And you won't wake up.", etc. "Your body will suddenly be filled with an explainable (unexplainable) amount of energy." Run-on sentences: "From this day, you will see the eyes watch you whenever you leave your house, and every night, when you go to sleep, she will do the exact same thing every night, toying with you before eating you, and she will grow stronger, until one night, the pain will be more pronounced, and you will feel like you are really there, because you are, and she won't eat you this time, but her children will." Capitalization issues: "Her fangs.", "Her cave", etc. At times you capitalize the pronoun and other times you leave it uncapitalized. "You Best keep that", "all, It is a creature", etc. Story issues: Writing it in second person causes a number of issues, mainly with character development, plot progression (Why would someone who is bitten by a snake not go to a hospital? It seems illogical.) The ending also needs work. "Why? Because that is survival." You gave the story this title, but it really isn't explained in the story or referenced enough to have an impact. The story feels rushed and a lot of the scenes that were made to be scary fall short due to a lack of description and tension. Those were a few of the reasons why your story was deleted. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 01:38, July 13, 2015 (UTC) Warning! Unfinished Page Please don't contribute unfinished pages. We get a lot of these, and almost none of them are EVER finished in a timely manner. Your unfinished page has been deleted. I'd suggest you post unfinished pages on your own computer in a notepad or other text document, or if it isn't your own computer that you're using, to save the text on Pastebin so you can access it later. Posting an unfinished page again will result in a block. | creepypasta.wikia.com | I'm the man who's gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! | [[User:Underscorre|'Under']][[User talk:Underscorre|'Scorre']] }} 08:42, July 14, 2015 (UTC) It also feels unfinished/incomplete. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 22:33, July 16, 2015 (UTC) EmpyrealInvective (talk) 21:19, July 17, 2015 (UTC)